Internal Resistance

There are 2 books that I read every year, one of which is ‘The war of art’ by Steven Pressfield, and all his premise in the book is that we have an internal and sometimes also an external resistance working against us, in order not to let us work on what we believe we want to create. I love reading it yearly, because every year I need the reminder that what I have to create will probably help people … albeit in the future. I know that my first creation will not get me there, not even my second, hell right now I am on my 50th uploaded video on youtube, and I don’t have the reach that I can say that. However, I somehow know that deep down, if I dig enough, I will find something that can help a bunch of people be better.

Recently, I was doing some digging and thinking for myself, and thought well, how can I help a ton of people? And at first the usual suspects popped up, which I was ok, what else. And then after more introspection I realized, well, why don’t I start helping myself first. I realized that I lost control over my life in various ways, and in various ways I think that I was running scripts that no longer served me. And then I was thinking why don’t I make a series about me regaining control over my life and put it on social media, who knows maybe someone (at least one hopefully) sees it, they resonate with my story and decide to also take action in their life. Sounds great and I would love that. Also I realized that the worst case scenario of putting this series out there is that there will be people who will tag along for the entertainment of seeing me fail or something of that sort, but I realized that that is not such a bad outcome. Anyway why am I writing about this if I am so convinced that this is the way I want to take it? well it is because I am meeting a lot of resistance to start posting this series. I have filmed a couple of clips here and there and now I just need to sit down, see what is missing and upload. And now I am frozen. Similarly, with this blog, same resistance. So if you are reading this, I have managed to get these words out. I hope that I also did for the series.

But yeah resistance is real, we are the muse and the resistance at the same time, and this is why I need to read this book yearly, to remind me that each and every one of us has that spark that is dying to show itself to the world, dying to sparkle and light the dark corners that we encounter in our lives. And wouldn’t that be a whole new world, a better world if I might say. Because imagine, a place where everyone is sharing their light? I would love to be in that world. To be honest I have no idea what my light is, what message do I want to bring? no idea. But here I am etching at my spark container, and hopefully I manage to set it free. And hey, if you are reading this, maybe I already did 🙂