Mental blocks

Mental blocks are a funny thing. Right now it is 4.30 am, I know I should do a particular thing but somehow I am unable to get down to it. By a particular thing, I mean filling in the appropriate paper work with the authorities. And I would rather sit here and write down my thoughts, rather than tackle this.

Somehow we call it a mental block but it is far from being mental, in the sense I can logically tell you that this thing I should be doing is undoubtedly good to get it done. In fact by not doing it, I know for a fact that I will create a problem in the future. But somehow this issue has nothing to do with brainy stuff and more to do with emotional stuff. If I think about it, what is really paralyzing me from doing this, is the fear of what if I do it wrong? What if by doing it I will be creating a bigger problem?

Gurus in the productivity space would tell me to just suck it up and do it. Some others would tell me to start with something small or start working on it for 5 minutes and then the whole thing will seem easier. And I guess they are right to a certain extent. Because afterall, official applications with authorities are scary because they are multi-step processes, if you do something wrong you will get a fine, and it is outright uncomfortable. I really do not like it, because it often turns out to be a little rabbit hole of things to do, and it can go on infinitely in order to fill in A you have to have B, but so far B does not exist and in order to get this you have to fill in form C and D and make an appointment with authority E, which in turn when you go you have to bring documents F, G, and H. And just thinking of this never-ending to do list makes me anxious. I really do not have time for this, but at the same time I still need to do this, either now when I have ample time, or else with a deadline and this anxiety is amplified.

I really do not want to, I am so tired.

But at the end trying to understand this emotion and rationalizing it, does not make it better. Actually it is in and of itself a system that my mind builds in order that I feel that I am doing something regarding this thing when in actual fact I am not. So somehow it seems that the only way to escape this, is through it. I just need to start and meet the need. So yeah in view of this, I am realizing that it is not really a mental block but really an emotional block, and similar to emotions, it is very hard to go through emotions by using logic. So I guess what I am trying to say is that for this one, I think the gurus are right, acknowledge the block, try to understand it a bit, and do not beat yourself up about it. Basically do not turn into David Goggins. But at the same time, what will make the uncomfortable feeling go away is if this issue is tackled head on and at some point I can close it and say that I have finished it and it is off my plate. So now I see that the 20 minutes that I had dedicated to write here are almost over and so I need to honour myself and offer my future self some peace of mind, because I deserve that.

What is your mental block? In other words, are you postponing something that you should be doing instead of reading this? If yes, here is the permission, the sign you were waiting for to break the procrastination cycle and go out there and do the thing. Good luck! I sure as hell need it.