The world of opposites

Today I was inspired by a thought to write here, and that is: What exactly are we suppose to be? Are we supposed to be what the world wants at the time? which you will be pushed by almost everyone around you to do, in some cases even your parents. Or should you do you but you maybe not looked at positively in the present time or maybe in any time for that being.

We as a society reward those that go against the current, showing that all those that amounted to something extraordinary went against the current. However, how many people in general go against the current to be rewarded with crap, not amount to much or only be recognized well after their death.

I was thinking about it as I embark here on my youtube journey and right now I am hitting a dip and it sucks and to be honest I am spiralling downward. Who cares what I want to say? is it really going against the current when according to statistics half of the gen zers have some kind of a social media account. I wonder will I ever make money beyond a hundred here and there? do I even have what it takes to make products people want? or am I on the right track to become a scammer with a PhD? I sometimes feel that us educational content creators are scrapping the internet for something worth saying and then we hear it from each other and repurpose it. In the last couple of years I have read a bunch of self help books and I don’t know but some ideas are recycled and if you have a couple of million followers they will buy your shit anyway. Am I jaded?

Somehow in being contrarian I feel I am becoming as unoriginal as I can be. I am feeding the machine of youtube without seeing a dime, without any guarantee I will make anything. On the other hand the most mainstream thing to do is to have a job, which I have explored already. It's like in The Matrix, where Neo wants to leave the car and Trinity tells him 'You know that road, you know exactly where it ends.' No matter what I do, even if I perform amazingly things stay stagnant. and right now the interviews I get want somehow a model human, rather than an actual one. Say a lot of things while not saying anything. You have to watch out what to say and put up a fake person, but to be honest so is on social media. You have to put your best foot forward, not ruffle any feathers otherwise you'll get cancelled or ruffle as many feathers as you can, because that's how you get eyeballs. Not sure, but is there a way that I can be me? well I guess that is what time will tell. At the end all I can control is myself, and I will just keep putting Me out there, and see where it vibes.

Somehow although we’d like to think that we live in a world of opposites, in reality we are just the same, just taking the same thing from a different perspective. The more people join a specific thing the more optimized it becomes and somehow all the edges are refined. Mind you this is not coming from a place of judgment, as I also catch myself trimming the edges to be more round. But I wonder, the more optimized something is the less fun it usually becomes. So for what are we optimizing?

This reminds me of one black mirror episode where people where imprisoned and had these coins. They had to earn coins by doing work, or watch adverts and if selected they had the chance to become an influencer. and then at one point this dude rebels and starts to sh*t talk the system. He becomes an instant hit and he gets a channel, where he shit talks about the system, but in doing so he is part of the system, in doing so he is sustaining the system. From the outside he seems that he is challenging the system, but in reality any system needs some naysayers so that the ones that do not feel completely happy they resonate with it and do not seek further how to change one's life. So in being on paper a total opposite one is just perpetuating the same thing. A world of opposites that has the same result. Isn’t that funny?