Who do you look up to?

So lately I was watching the man in the high castle and at one point the characters were discussing if one should be loyal to the man with a vision or to the movement. And somehow when I heard this I thought to myself neither option. We have seen from our history that being blindly loyal to either can get you in situations which are horrible, take a look at the second world war or for any matter any cult or let’s not go far, let's say the office space. So somehow what/who should we be loyal to? I thought long and hard about this and the answer that I keep coming to is that we should be loyal to ourselves, the inner selves. Let me explain.

We often look up to people because we use them as proxy for something. We do not need to think of everything, we just use a trusted person to tell us what is good or bad. Let’s take Jordan Peterson for example, I do not agree with everything he says about women or climate change, but when I read his book ‘12 Rules For Life’, at the time it opened my eyes to so many things in life and how I was interacting with life. Again, I did not agree with everything he wrote, but because one does not agree with everything, it does not mean that everything is wrong. Actually that book changed my perspective on life and I value it deeply. This logic should be applied to anyone in life. Just because you agree with what they stand for today, it does not mean that you should by default agree with what they will push forward tomorrow. And exactly this I wonder if we are aware of this. We are living in the era of influencers (no hate towards influencers, lol I am trying to be a mini one myself), where people follow this one person for advice or knowledge about a certain topic. We buy things that this person recommends, we do things that this person says it is good. However, sometimes I am afraid that we do outsource our thinking to other people. Because at the end of the day we should remember that influencers are also just people, with their own flaws, views, agendas, and limitations.

But this brings us to the crux of the matter, because if we should not completely trust other humans, even though they are considered the top in the field, just because they are human and can make mistakes, then who should we trust? Well, and this comes back to us. Somehow we all have our internal compass, that guides us. We all have our own principles and morals. We also have different goals and aspirations. What can work for someone, might not work for you and vice versa. Also a good advice for one situation, can be horrible advice for another. So somehow, the person that we need to show loyalty to is ourselves, but not in a greedy, self-centered way, but rather in a self-aware way. Think of it like this, we all have in mind (some have it more clear than others) of our higher selves. And if not that, we all have our gut feeling. And somehow the loyalty has to be to that person. Once a person or a cause do not resonate with our internal compass, I do not believe that we owe loyalty and following anymore.

This sounds easy, but I do not think it is, because we humans think in terms that I have invested so much time in this relationship, this career, and if I let it go, all that time will go to waste. It is a bit of a sunken cost fallacy. And probably this topic is a subject of another of my rants, but the take home message is, that this uncomfortable situation can be overcome by starting from being self-aware - understand who you are, what you want from life, what you aspire to become, and what your values are. The second step is to never outsource your thinking. Take advice into account, because as if we can be experts in everything, but keep asking questions and keep checking if this is still in line with your inner self. If not, then figure a way out.

P.s. While re-reading this, when I was uploading it on the website, I realized that I did not include a stipulation. Follow what is best for you and what aligns with your vision. However, not at the detriment of others. If it benefits to steal someone else's work and put it in your name - don't do it. If you have a family, and you feel that your alignment will come if you backpack across the world indefinitely - don't do it either. Just don't be a d*ck.